Human nature is so diverse, running the gamut between personalities amenable to every facet of living with one another in harmony to those whose inborn proclivity to dominate others -- and all variations that fall within those two polar dimensions -- are exhibited most clearly in the relations between intimate couples.

Marriages fail in this modern world at unprecedented levels. And those relationships that inevitably fail leave the consequences of life-long emotional disequilibrium, disturbing the quality of peoples' lives, all the more so when children are involved. Individuals want to remain individual in their preferences, their values, reflecting their backgrounds and the level and quality of the nurturance they themselves have experienced in their own familial backgrounds.

Beyond which there is the issue of genetic inheritance. Neither my husband nor I ever felt the need to dominate the other over the 62 years of our marriage, and this is the early patterning that our children were exposed to in their formative years, yet one of our children has inherited a strong streak of unpleasant domination characteristic of those who will never be able to harmonize their lives pleasantly with another's, an unfortunate trait that was increasingly evident from childhood to maturity.

It's a strange thing, but perhaps not so strange, that we see and recognize that our two little dogs, siblings, fairly devoted to one another, but not excessively so, enjoy each other's company but never has one ever made the effort to dominate the other. Their personalities are as different from one another's as it is possible to be, yet they are companions undemanding that one be recognized as superior or commanding in any manner by the other.

What brings this all to mind is our encounter yesterday with someone I barely recognized, having not seen her in at least twelve to fifteen years, a former neighbour.  She lived at the top of the street with her husband and two young children, a boy and a girl. Hers was one of those marriages where the woman is expected by the man to consult with him and obey him on every level, however of little consequence that might be. He was a pleasant man, intelligent, a well-paid professional and she was a stay-at-home housewife and mother.

They had separated many years ago, their two children growing up sharing time between the two parents, and they are now adults. Their old house has long been occupied by another family of young children where it appears the husband/wife relationship is a balanced one of mutual respect.

The cheerful, pretty young woman we had known is now a mature woman, but even more beautiful than she had been, with the same relaxed, pleasant personality. She had thought to acquaint a friend with the street she had once lived on and they had ventured into the ravine, where we came across them. What resulted was a nice little reunion of sorts. leaving us with the impression that her decision to leave an unhappy marriage vastly improved the quality of her life.