Now 20 years of age and in her third year of university studies, our granddaughter spent the first nine years of her life from Monday to Friday in our home with us as we were her week-day day-care providers. During those formative years of her life she was exposed to many facets of life, all helping to guide her toward developing her world view and comfort with her place in the larger society of which she is an integral part.

When she was about four years old she was introduced for the first time to the fact that some people weren't quite as bright as she was, through a personal misfortune of birth. As was natural, she knew and became familiar with other young people in the neighbourhood. One of whom was a young boy approaching his teens at the time, whose family had just moved in, about six houses down from ours.

There were two boys, with only a year separating them. And it was one of the boys who regularly came around to speak with us, and with her. She knew quite readily that this boy was not endowed with what are recognized as normal milestone characteristics in mental and physical development. Aside from commenting on that observable fact, she treated him as she would anyone else and that gave us great satisfaction.

The family was friendly and made for good neighbours. They did have a problem, however, when a family living right beside them allowed their children to toss garbage into their yard, as a sign of contempt for the little boy's mental incapacities. When the boy spoke to you; seldom with you; he would recount observations, complex and well-worded that gave the hearer second pause. He actually sounded like someone who was intellectually advanced for his age. We soon discovered that he was simply repeating what he heard from his father, without understanding the meaning of what he spoke.

That aside, his temperament was friendly and accommodating. As he grew older he had few friends and conceived a particular liking for a younger boy who lived at the foot of the street, who had no trouble befriending him. Soon, however, the family found his presence irksome, since when he felt comfortable somewhere, he would be reluctant to leave. They had invited him to have meals with them when he couldn't be persuaded through subtle hints that it was time for him to leave, and soon found to their discomfort that he expected to have his meals with them frequently. They were perplexed that his parents made no effort to intervene, and that caused hard feelings.

Then as he grew into his late teen years, he was proud to inform us that he had a job. He would speak often of the job, as an employee of a local McDonald's franchise which gave him the opportunity to work in its kitchen. He was happy that in exchange for permitting him to work there, he was paid and he was allowed to enjoy their meals.

He was never seen in the company of his older brother, though only a year separated them. The older brother was a biological child; the couple had decided soon after his birth that they would adopt a child, a handicapped child whom they would be giving an opportunity in life and at the same time providing a companion for their own child. It never quite worked out that way. The boys recognized little in common with one another.

Eventually both boys left the house to strike out on their own after attending courses at Algonquin College.  The older boy tried a succession of management-level jobs, but found he was unable to retain employment, while the younger one was given employment at special agencies formed for that purpose. Each had their own apartments. Even so, living independently in an apartment not far from his family home, the younger boy needed his father and mother to be involved in his management. Anything that was complex -- any paperwork, bill paying, income taxes, banking, doctors' appointments -- was accomplished by his father, by that time approaching retirement. But he was independent, employed, and living on his own.

The older son repeatedly moved back home with his parents whenever there was a gap in his employment, until the next job came along and he felt secure enough to move on.

When the boys were still young, the parents thought that care of a pet would bring them together in companionship, sharing the pet and looking after its needs. They brought a little dog into the house, whom the older boy ignored and the younger boy became fond of, but the parents did the work of caring for it. Then just as they did with the introduction of the adopted son, they decided to bring another little dog into the house, as a companion to the first, neglected one.

The little dogs were delightful and delighted to be together. They were seldom taken out for walks since both parents worked and time was short, looking after the needs of the younger boy. In the fullness of time, the dogs are both now long gone.

The younger boy lives on his own, quite content with his lot in life, successful in being able to look after his own immediate needs, with the help of his father whose routine has been to look after anything requiring full cerebral capacity on behalf of his adopted son. And the older son has just started a new job that seems quite promising. He lives at home still, until he can be certain he will once again be fully self-supporting.

There's a certain degree of irony there. Just as well none of us can know what the future holds. Certainly our neighbour might never have conceived of a future time when he and his wife felt they had little option but to invite her mother to move in with them, since she was no longer able to look after herself adequately. Now, every time his mother-in-law gets in her car, he winces, noticing how incapable she is of judging space and manoeuvring her vehicle properly.