Thursday, April 9, 2015

Sad to hear that James Bond has had to undergo surgery while filming the latest Bond film, Spectre. As a result of arthroscopic knee condition. James Bond, after all, is impervious to danger and physical harm because of his extraordinarily strong physique, and his amazing ability to counteract physical threats by instant reaction and immensely clever manoeuvres.

But there it is, poor James Bond in hospital, undergoing surgery, holding up filming on his latest flick. But, like a feline whose amazing capacity to evade death he mimics, he will survive to live yet another incredible caper.

And it must be comforting to him to know that he has the sympathy of others, like for example Sir Roger Moore who tweeted: "Sorry to hear Daniel Craig has sprained his knee on set #Spectre. Being 007 is not without its hazards. I'm available to step in if needed." So kind and considerate.

And of course the hazards are many. The man of steel nerves, indestructible physiognomy and instant reaction faced death numerous times. In Skyfall, for example, it has been pointed out by a panel of medical professionals, our hero is shot with a depleted uranium shell, an armour-piercing ground used to destroy tanks.

It "would have turned his lungs inside out and killed him", commented the medical team. Even if he survived the fragments of uranium shell exposure to them "would greatly increase his cancer risk". But not our superman of exquisitely formidable resistance to anything that would destroy the lives of lesser mortals.

Removing a bullet from his shoulder on his own as he did after the uranium shell encounter "Risks blood loss, lack of consciousness, nerve and muscular damage and the infection risk is huge", cautioned the health professionals. Ah yes, but this is no ordinary human being, after all.

And when he tumbled from the roof of a train into a river, that close encounter with the Angel of Death "could sever his spinal cord or break his neck", if he hadn't drowned, an instant paraplegic. Not our James Bond, the world's supreme acrobatist.

Oh and when he wrestled with a henchman underwater in a icy Scottish loch, survival would have been miraculous: "Fighting means he would use oxygen quickly, so it's improbable he'd get out in time. Hypothermia would set in very quickly and he'd struggle to move." Don't these medical professionals realize precisely whose foray into the dangerous channels of crime and violence they are interpreting?

Doctors, health professionals, forensics: what do they know when it comes to the arcane, impossible, yet eminently possible escapades of a timeless, undefeated hero?

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