So much is made of those 'special days' of recognition: Mother's Day, Father's Day. We have never, between us, paid much attention to them, viewing them as quite wholly commercial events. The commercial advertising surrounding them is testament to that. Homage should be paid at a different, emotional and foundational level if the roles of parents are to be truly appreciated. Just a personal kind of reaction we have always shared.

Because of the advent of yet another year's recognition of fathers through the formality of a national holiday dedicated to the role of fathers, one of Canada's national newspapers to which we subscribe, had a number of articles highlighting the current role of fathers in children's lives. In particular how fatherhood has changed in more recent years. Perhaps since the advent of women's liberation. Which in some ways liberated men too, to value some aspects of life that were always thought of as solely feminine, and to clasp them to themselves.

Or, at the very least, want to share them. A closeness with their children, for one thing. A willingness to take parental responsibility in a more nurturing way. "As a society, I think we are just now starting to have a meaningful discussion about fatherhood, outside the reactionary dichotomy of the incompetent/emotionally absent dad vs. the overly mocked helicopter dad. Having said that we still have a long way to go -- there is still an unspoken imperative that men shouldn't honestly talk about fatherhood (the joys and challenges) lest they be shamed or ridiculed", wrote editor/publisher David Michael Perez.

This anguish - it is much ado about not too much. Becoming a parent has its distinct pleasures and its equally distinct obligations. To look upon the new fatherhood as a milestone beyond comprehension in comparison to generations past, lauding fathers who nurture their offspring, are not beyond changing diapers, soothing a weeping child, patiently teaching parameters and in short, ensuring primary support by being a "there" parent is not necessarily anything totally new.

It was our personal experience when we first became parents in our early 20s, having our first child after four years of marriage in 1959, that the journey was a shared one. Equally invested in emotion, nurturing, love and care. We had naturally, both of us, assumed that one of us would remain at home with our children, looking to their care, and I was the one who did just that. We lived on one very small salary, in what might be termed genteel poverty. When my husband returned home from his working day out in the general workforce he joined me in looking to the care and needs of our three small children.

We lived modestly, just managing to squeeze by and pay all our bills. And we spent week-ends taking our children to outdoor venues for which there was no charge, to roam about in woodland settings, to have picnics, to play with them and encourage them to explore their own interests in nature. We took them to zoos, to museums, to science galleries, to playgrounds. We lived richly.

It was, for us, quite simply the natural thing to do.