He is a dapper, dark-haired, mustachioed and exceedingly genial man. And so meticulous in performing the services of his profession that my husband was very impressed, and recommended him to me. As did the optometrist whom my husband had also recommended to me. And with whose own services my ophthalmologist was aware and congenial with, all the more so when digital pictures of the back of my eyes were present in my files at his office the day following having been taken.

On my second visit to his shop, to have the two frames containing my new progressive lenses fitted, I learned much about the man, as he effusively spoke to someone he must have felt was a sympathetic listener. It would not be the first time by any means that people whose acquaintance I had just made and whose personal lives were unknown and of no interest to me revealed their innermost feelings and emotional needs.

What I learned as I made an especial effort to heed what he was saying and to support him in his obvious distress was:

• He belongs to the B'hai religion and is of Persian extraction
• He has been twice married, once divorced
• He is desperately searching for a new companion, convinced this second marriage is over
• He is experiencing much difficulty finding a woman who might wish to share his life
• He is inordinately disappointed that there are so few women wishing to commit themselves
• He is amazed at the modern woman who is interested in engaging in sexual union before becoming familiar with the character of her partner
• He is disappointed at the mendacious interest by women in his financial status

I listened as he explained his second wife, a former widow with two somewhat mature sons, was too much under the influence of her brother. And that her family was a deterrence to their tight communion as husband and wife. He got along well with the older of his wife's two sons, but not the younger who, like her extended family, chose to find fault with him, her husband.

He wanted a divorce from this current wife. She wanted to remain in wedlock, but not in the kind of traditional marriage that appealed to him. She visualized their continued living together as man and wife, but not quite as man and wife; more for convenience and occasionally, hands-off companionship. He found this unsuited to his needs, though he was a patient man, he said.

He had tried Internet dating, and had indeed gone out on several occasions with women, one of whom insisted she had to find out directly through having sex initially whether he represented good marital potential for her, before committing to follow-up dates. How he was put off by this, explaining to her that while sex was important in a marriage, emotional and intellectual compatibility were more important to him.

Other women seemed more interested in his material assets, eager to know whether he had a house of his own, and whether he still paid a mortgage on it. He was put off when a woman he met on line agreed to going out for dinner, and then chose the most expensive restaurant in town.

I suggested some success might be found in mutual acquaintances recommending their friends to one another, and he said he'd been that route, telling me in some detail about several women who had been recommended to him by friends and how they had turned out to be dead ends because again, they were more concerned with material assets than emotional compatibility.

I recommended he be patient with his current wife, that the alteration in their relationship that she wished for might work to his advantage after all, because he is consumed with the wish not to live alone, having done so for five years between wives and having found it not at all to his liking. He listened, but his lip curled in derision when he responded that he could not 'trust' his current wife.

On several occasions he briefly excused himself when he had to tend to other clients, and I sat there, wishing I could escape, feeling I could not gracefully make my exit, as he had not completed the fitting process. The anguished reportage continued and my cautious recommendations did as well, until finally another client appeared and I was able to hastily gather my newly-acquired eyeglasses, wish him the best of luck, and depart.

On my way out, he called after me not to forget him and to please contact him if I had anyone of the gentle sex to recommend to him.